Reach Out
by sdbubbles
Summary: When Serena Campbell is placed in the most vulnerable position she's ever been in, can anyone get through to her, or is she really so determined to never, ever rely on anyone but herself?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: OK, so this was written on a phone. On a bus. In Dundee. So please forgive any spelling errors ;) this is set directly after last night's episode "Unravelled," when Serena eventually gets a hire car upon remembering hers was in the garage.**

**Sarah x**

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"Oh, for Christ's sake!" Serena sighed, thoroughly annoyed now. She one-handedly searched her bag once more for her purse but it definitely was not there.

She'd been uptight all day, and angry at Chantelle, Ric and Malick for what happened to her mum, and upset the Eleanor had chosen to hang up rather than hear her out. Then, of course, was the pain of seeing her own mother in such an awful state. The embarrassment of almost crying in front of Ric, whom she was supposed to be professionally superior to. She hadn't, she confessed to herself, acted very professional today. She didn't know whether to be the consultant or the upset daughter. She hadn't known which lines to say or which role to play.

She was driving a powerful car she wasn't used to and she didn't like it. It was heavy on the steering, too, which she wasn't accustomed to. The engine was more powerful; she didn't have to put as much pressure on the throttle to get the same amount of power as she did from her own car.

Groaning, she decided she had to phone and see if she left it in the hospital. She dug around her bag for her phone and dialled Ric's number, putting it on speaker in case she got pulled over.

"Hello?" he answered. He sounded tense, probably expecting abuse to be hurled at him over today's incident. She could hardly blame him; she knew she hadn't been nice to anyone today. Being nice, she'd discovered a long time ago, got her nowhere. Laying down the law did.

"Ric, can you check if I've left my purse in the office?" She heard him get up and rifle through her desk until her found it.

"Yeah," he said. "It's here. Tell me where you are and I'll come and meet you with it," he offered, unusually kind for a man she was lodging a complaint against.

"I'm on Provost Road," she told him. It was dark, and she only knew where she was because she knew that little area very well – she even recognised the cars of those who lived there. "I'll pull over when I get to Robertson-"

She never got to finish that sentence – the car started spinning on what could only be black ice as the frost had fallen tonight. She realised far too late she'd been doing fifty miles an hour on a residential street, and she also realised there was no way she could stop what was about to happen.

The air bag inflated in her face when she hit the lamp post, and the car spun sideways, the driver's side hitting the wall lining the street. She felt the steering wheel lock and push up a little, and the door collapse in beside her. There was a sharp pain in her head and her stomach, and the doctor in her told her she would be knocked out soon enough. She heard, as her consciousness started to decline, Ric's voice from the other side of the car. "Serena?" he said.

"Ric," she forced out, the pain in her abdomen unbearable. She felt dizzy and sick with the level of agony. "I've...crashed," she managed to say, but she didn't think her heard her – her voice was too weak.

The last thing she heard before she lost consciousness was him shouting, "SERENA!" down the phone at her, but she was incapable of responding. Everything went black, and everything stopped. She didn't even half time to clinically assess her own condition.

When she started to wake up, she felt a hand on her face, trying to get a response. "Serena?" an American voice said. She opened her eyes to see Michael Spence Standing over her. "Serena, you've been in a car crash," he told her.

"Yes, I remember," she snapped impatiently. "I was there."

"Good to see you've not lost the legendary Campbell charm," he grinned down on her. "Now, I'm going to refer you up to Keller. Ric and Hanssen are going to operate; the door collapsed in and caused a lot of damage."

"I don't feel that much pain," she protested.

"That's just because Sacha and I decided to dose you up to the eleven on morphine when we realised how much pain you'd be in," he explained what she should have already figured out.

"Eleanor," Serena said, choking from a combination of lying down and not being able to breathe right. "Where's Eleanor?"

"Was she in the car?" he asked, shining a light at her eyes. He looked troubled, and she knew that she was in worse shape than he was letting on in his efforts to keep her calm. They all seemed to forget she was a qualified, experienced doctor who knew that the fact she was having trouble breathing and could feel some pain despite the morphine was not a good sign. The only thing was that her confused and drug-addled brain wasn't in any state to try and work it out for herself.

"No. What about Mum? Is she OK?"

"Serena, shut up and put yourself first," he advised her sternly, calling Chrissie over to help him take her up to Keller. The familiar lift took them up to the general surgery ward, where Chantelle and Ric met them. Great. Just the people she wanted to see; she saw now she'd crossed a few lines today in her upset. These people were now the ones her care was in the hands of, and, regardless of her words and actions today, she did trust them with her life. How could she not?

"Serena," she heard Ric's calming voice. He sounded as worried as Michael had, and it made her wonder what they weren't telling her. Or, for that matter, if she wanted to even know before they sorted her out. "Henrik and I are about to take you into surgery, alright?"

Serena nodded as best she could; her neck felt very stiff, even if the morphine had subsided the pain, though she still felt twinging and aching past the drugs. She saw Chantelle's pretty face, and it was clear the girl was worried, despite the way Serena had treated her today. "Don't worry, Ms. Campbell," she smiled. "We're going to make sure you're fine."

Chantelle was adorable, Serena had to admit. There was no way she would have not done her best today. Serena had known full well Keller was short-staffed because of the weather that had just very nearly killed her. She'd known Chantelle was one of very few nurses on Keller. She knew the agency nurse never showed up. All of these things were beyond both her and Chantelle's control.

She resisted the temptation to remind the nurse that she was a doctor and wasn't stupid, and that she didn't need the explanations no-one had given her to know her body was in some state. If she had cleared her mind before she'd started driving, and if she hadn't been on the phone, she knew she wouldn't be awaiting surgery right now. They took her through to the prep room, without even changing her out of her clothes – was it actually that urgent? Chantelle anaesthetised her. "Count back from ten, Ms. Campbell," she said.

Serena couldn't help rolling her eyes at being reminded to do it but did what she was told. "Ten..." Everything started going hazy. "Nine..." Really hazy. "Eight..."

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**Hope this is OK!  
Please feel free to leave a review and let me know what you think!  
Sarah x**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews on the first chapter :)**

**Sarah x**

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"Serena," a familiar voice called her. "Serena," he said again as she opened her eyes, her head still fuzzy.

"Ric?" she asked, finally placing the voice. She wondered, for a moment, why she felt so odd and was in pain. Then it came back to her; she remembered she had stupidly been driving while talking on the phone. That the car door had come in beside her. And she'd been in excruciating pain before she blacked out. And Ric had been shouting over the phone for her attention and her response had been so weak he hadn't heard her.

"Serena," he said once more, but his voice relieved this time. "You've suffered a lot of internal damage. Ruptured spleen. Damaged kidney. And you've broken your ribs; one of them damaged your lung but Elliot managed to stop that being too severe. You've broken your leg too."

"Brilliant," she groaned. She'd been right – they'd not told her the extent of get injuries for fear of upsetting her before surgery. She would have done exactly the same thing. "What have you done about it?"

"We had to remove your spleen, and we patched your kidney up as best we could but we're keeping an eye on it," he explained. "The orthopaedic consultant examined your leg while you were knocked out and he thinks you're going to need a plate. It's broken in four places."

Four places?! How the hell had she not noticed that? Maybe the agony she felt elsewhere had distracted her from it? God. She'd never been in a position of powerlessness before. Not to this extent. Yes, she had been vulnerable today, but she had eventually asserted herself as in control. Now she had no control over what happened to her; she knew they had to do as they saw fit and she would have no say in the clinical decisions.

"Do you want Eleanor?" he asked. "Michael said you were asking after her."

She thought about it for only a moment before making one decision on the basis of her reluctance to depend on anyone. "No," she said, trying and failing to smile. "No, she's at her friend's. Just leave her there. No point dragging her out at this time of the night."

Ric just stared at her, obviously not believing that she didn't want her own daughter by her side while she was recovering from a car accident. Eleanor didn't know what had happened, and Serena didn't intend on telling her until the morning – the girl had dealt with enough for today. She was hoping she was asleep by now, at any rate.

He just left her, because she gave him no option. Her tired mind still managed to deliver him a hard glare when she saw him about to express concern for her. She didn't care if she was his patient; she was still Serena Campbell and she didn't need anyone. She closed her eyes for a few minutes, just thinking. How had it all come to this?

She remembered forcing her voice to remain level when she was angry with Chantelle, and how it had taken all of her self-discipline not to actually shout or, even worse, cry. How she had told Ric she was making a formal complaint against her own department. Against her friends. She was _that_ angry. And someone had to be blamed for what happened. There was a root cause for everything, someone always had to be in the wrong.

By the time she'd walked out of the hospital, finally drained of energy and fight, she was ready to drive home. Until she reached her parking space and found no car. Until she remembered how today had started; today had started with her car braking down, a girl collapsing in front of it, taking the girl to the hospital in an ambulance with her mother and a tow-truck close behind. Bottom line, she had no car. And she had stupidly hired a car rather than wait until morning and getting a cab home. How many times had she been told by various people not to drive when she was upset. Even worse with a car she wasn't used to.

"Ms. Campbell?" she heard a sweet voice next to her. She opened her eyes and found Chantelle at her side, looking rather apprehensive. Whether it was because the girl was worried about her condition, or because she had terrified her earlier, Serena was not entirely certain. "Are you alright?"

"What do you think?" she snapped. "Honestly," she sighed. What a stupid question to ask her.

"Well, if you need anything, just call," she persisted.

"Yes, I work here too," Serena said sarcastically. She wasn't sure why she was being like that, if she was truthful with herself. Maybe because she didn't want anyone to think she was weak. Maybe because she was independent. Maybe because she was desperate to remain as such. Regardless of the state of her body, her mind was as good as it always had been.

Chantelle, like Ric, was left with no option but to walk away. Serena thought on what the immediate future held for her; lying helpless in the same hospital as her ill mother, being treated by colleagues she'd been less than pleasant to. She didn't half make these situations difficult for herself. And if there was to be surgery on her leg, that meant now work for a good while. No theatre, at least. And Hanssen would definitely draw a line with what he would allow her to do.

She reached round to pour a glass of water, and found it caused her a great deal of pain. Her ribs protested at being moved, and the stitches were not liking it either. But rather than bother anyone for something as simple as a glass of water, she forced herself to reach out for the jug. The pain was intense; she was fine until she moved, but she refused to lie there and have everyone do everything for her.

She got her hand on the handle and picked the glass up between her fingers. The pain became too much and she was forced to drop the jug and tumbler. She gasped in pain, trying to stop anyone from hearing it. She knew she was OK; she'd just overstretched herself a little. Her hands instinctively protected her wound and her ribs as they caused her pain.

Before she knew it, Chantelle was beside her picking up the jug and glass. She must have heard it fall. "Why didn't you call me?" she scolded gently.

"Because I'm not an infant! I'm perfectly capable of getting water into a glass," she retorted, unusually angry that Chantelle had come to her aid. She half-expected Chantelle to stand up for herself – she was becoming better at that with time – but she just gave Serena an almost childlike look of curiosity. "What?!" she demanded.

"Nothing," she replied. "I'm just wondering why you do that."

"Do what?" Serena said with a glare, warning the young woman not to cross any lines. She didn't want to hear any sympathy from anyone.

"I just find it odd that you'd rather get angry and shout at someone when it's obvious what you really need is just to cry," the blonde shrugged. Serena felt a strange hurt anger rise through her, and she wanted nothing more to get rid of Chantelle before she said something to show anything apart from determination and strength.

"Oh, you think I need to cry, do you?" Serena challenged. "Is that your expert opinion?" she added, her voice once again dripping in sarcasm. Chantelle just stared at her, taken aback by how aggressive she was being. "Well, I realise seeing me in pain probably gives you and Ric some twisted sense of satisfaction, but don't get your hopes up," Serena found herself snarling.

"What?" she asked, clearly confused. "I don't want to see anyone in pain."

Serena gave a humourless laugh, shaking her head. "Here's an idea," she began, deciding to send her away once and for all. For tonight, anyway. "As you pointed out, you're short staffed, so why don't you run along and tend to all the patients who actually need you to help them?"

Serena instantly regretted saying it when Chantelle's expression turned into one of hurt. The girl would never tell her as much, but Serena knew those words had stung her. She felt bad, but it was a means to an end, and the end goal was to be left in peace. She wanted to fall asleep and for this horrible day just to be some awful nightmare. Either that, or she wanted to fall asleep and never wake up. She wasn't quite sure which idea was the most appealing at that moment in time.

The nurse walked away and busied herself with another patient, just as Serena had said, but when she went to the other side of the man's bed to take his pulse, their eyes met, and Serena found she was unable to tear away her gaze. She wasn't even sure why she was being like this; she felt like, if she was to let them help, it was going to mean she would have to open up to them, and opening up could only result in disaster. It would result in her displaying weakness, and that, she feared, would change how they viewed Serena Campbell.

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**Hope this is alright!  
Please feel free to drop a review and tell me what you think!  
Sarah x**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you for the lovely reviews on that last chapter :)**

**Sarah x**

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The next time Serena Campbell woke in a drug-induced haze, she knew what had happened and she knew where she'd been. She knew she had a plate in her leg. What she did not understand was why Michael Spence was sitting next to her, reading the paper. "Hello," she said cautiously. "May I ask why you're here?"

"Just wanted to make sure you haven't killed the whole ward yet," he smirked. He got up and poured her a glass of water, much to her annoyance. What gave him the right to start running after her? "That, and I wanted to see they're taking proper care of you and not listening to your abuse," he added, sternly meeting her eyes.

"I am not a child, Michael, and I'm not an invalid," she snapped. He handed her the glass and she reluctantly accepted it. She noticed for the first time that there were cuts on her hands and arms, probably from when the window had caved in. She realised she hadn't actually seen her face; were there cuts there too?

"You do realise your temper doesn't affect me, don't you?" he asked her as he sat down again. "This lot might be scared of you, but I'm not."

Serena snorted and said, "I'm not trying to scare anybody."

"No, you're trying to offend them into leaving you alone," Michael retorted quickly, and she realised he must have been talking to Chantelle and Ric. "You can't do that, Serena," he told her. "Look at yourself. You've had an emergency splenectomy, a plate put into your leg and your kidneys got one hell of a beating. You're not _well_," he said to her, taking her hand. She immediately snatched it away from his grasp with a cold glare. She didn't want him to make her look or feel weak.

"I am fine," she said, keeping her voice icily level. "Now, aren't you supposed to be on AAU?"

"No. Day off."

"Liar."

"Now, now," he smiled complacently.

"Don't think I wouldn't grass you up to Hanssen," she threatened. She knew she wouldn't really do it, but Michael didn't look so sure. Nobody was ever sure of her. "Exactly. Just go back to AAU, Michael. I don't need you."

He looked rather surprised by her direct nature and how bluntly she was trying to get rid of him. But he did eventually stand up, and she shuffled herself into a sitting position with some degree of difficulty; Michael could help himself – he moved her pillows for her as she moved, receiving a glare for his thoughtfulness. Why was everybody being nice and caring when she was being so cruel to them all, pushing them away at every opportunity?

He pulled her into a gentle cuddle, and she was shocked when she allowed her arms to wrap around him loosely. She secretly allowed herself to enjoy the knowledge that someone really did care about what happened to her. She would never say as much, but she was glad to have a friend in Michael. She was glad he had a thick skin and understood better than most that even she was capable of being wrong and making idiotic mistakes.

He kissed her cheek and stood straight. "Get well soon," he smiled, and walked away, going to talk to Ric. She watched as they exchanged dark worried glances and looked at her a few times; it was enough for her to know that they were talking about her. And she hated that. She hated that they felt the need to talk about her rather than to her. Was she really so awful to speak to?

Michael left and Ric disappeared to the office. Serena looked around; Chantelle was busy with another patient. Malick, she knew, was in theatre. All the nurses were rushed off their feet.

She grabbed the crutches next to her bed – she knew it wasn't wise but she didn't care – and quietly hobbled to the lift. She got in, thankful nobody had caught her out of bed. She was surprised that she was even able to move; her leg was painful but she took little noticed. Her abdomen was sore but she didn't care. She was way beyond caring about physical pain. She had to lean against the back of the lift for a moment to regain the little strength she had.

She got out and made her way to her mother's room on ITU, looking through the window. She went in and sat down next to her mum, taking her frail hand in her battered one. She looked a bit panicked at the sight of her daughter so Serena explained, "I'm alright, Mum. I just crashed the car. Broken leg, though when Ric catches me out of bed I think I may have more to worry about than that."

She seemed to calm down a little, and Serena felt that all too familiar hard lump in her throat and she had to force herself not to cry. "How many times have you told me to stop driving when I'm on the phone?" she smiled, trying to keep on a brave face. She wasn't quite sure what she was doing here; her mum wasn't particularly responsive. She just felt she needed to be here.

"Serena," she heard Ric's voice at the door. "Come on. Back down to Keller."

"Just a few more minutes," she said. He disappeared and she felt strangely alone. Eleanor wasn't here. Ric had made her promise to go to school yesterday and Serena refused to let her into the hospital to see her. Why she was pushing her own daughter out, Serena felt she was never going to understand. It was almost as if she was scared of Eleanor seeing her in any position other than one of power.

He returned a couple of minutes later and Serena knew she was pushing her luck now. She picked up her crutches and made her way to him. "Do you want me to find you a wheelchair?" he asked her, clearly seeing she was actually in pain. She didn't admit that her leg was killing her, and her whole body was aching in protest. She didn't say that her abdomen was painful with the strain she was putting herself under.

"I got up here myself, and I can get back down," she asserted, limping past him. She felt her legs start to weaken and she knew she wasn't going to get very far. After all, she'd just been operated on. Again. What could she really expect? She was a doctor, and she should have known better than to wander off the ward when she wasn't well. She acknowledged now that she wasn't well, but only to herself.

She felt faint but she carried on anyway, refusing to admit defeat. Ric was walking next to her, as if he expected her to fall. Why did everyone expect her to fall apart? Even Chantelle sounded like she wanted Serena to cry. Why was that? Was Chantelle Lane actually capable of being so malicious? No. Chantelle Lane was sweet and innocent and determined to be the best she could be.

Serena had to stop. She felt weak and tired. This, she realised, had not been a wise idea. She felt Ric's arm around her waist, keeping her upright. She turned her head to tell him to go away, but she met his eyes and saw he was trying to be nice, despite the way she was treating him. "Ric," she said, her voice a hoarse whisper. "I'm not an invalid," she repeated her earlier words to Michael.

"I hate to break it to you, but you are," he replied. "For now, at least," he added with a small smile.

She didn't know why, but Serena felt a strange sort of need to keep him near. She'd starved herself of proper human contact by keeping herself from being vulnerable, and she was paying the price in the form of people being terrified of her. She starved herself of affection by being intimidating.

She noticed too late that she hadn't broken her gaze from his eyes. What was she _doing_? Serena Campbell would never put herself in this position. Until now. Until she was being propped up by a man who really shouldn't have cared for her. Who she really shouldn't have cared for either.

Why she did it, she'd never understand, but she closed her eyes and gently kissed him. She felt him respond, carefully moving his lips with hers, and she could feel from the gentleness of his body that he was worried he was going to hurt her. His hand was on her back, and Serena felt herself become more desperate to feel someone actually give a damn about her. To show they cared in such a way.

"Serena," he whispered. "Serena, what are you doing?" he demanded, pulling back from her.

"I don't know," she confessed. "I really don't know," she sighed, kissing him once more. She just wanted to feel something that wasn't pain and worry and anger. And he was doing that. He was making her feel that she was more than just the hospital demon, stalking the ward, making everyone miserable.

His lips moving with hers made her feel like she was wanted, and she hadn't felt wanted in a very long time.

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**Hope this is OK!  
Please feel free to review and tell me your thoughts!  
Sarah x**


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